Thursday, 18 February 2010

What kind of SEO copywriter are you?

Increasingly, many SEO copywriters are choosing to sell their skills by way of a ridiculous job title: SEO King, SEO Champion, SEO Schwarzenegger.

Here, Manchester SEO takes the trend a little too literally.

The SEO Ninja

The SEO ninja is a master of stealth. His copy is silent, covertly infiltrating the reader's mind to convince and manipulate.

His SEO keywords skill is also strong. Key generics successfully blend into flowing sentences without detection; invisible to the naked eye. They become one with their literary environment and squeeze into the most awkward of spaces for maximum SEO weight.

The SEO Guru

The SEO guru is an enlightened soul. Far away from the distractions of modern life, the guru contemplates the deepest meanings of SEO. He is knowledgeable, wise and his understanding of meta data and long-tail keyword usage is infinite. High in his spiritual home, the guru studies the ancient scripture of philosophers and silently meditates on five year's worth of traffic data.

The SEO Chef

No matter what the ingredients, the SEO chef can put together an award-winning dish; a feast of keywords, anchor text and title tags for Google to gorge itself on.

But the SEO chef knows his audience. His content is mouth-watering, dripping with artistic prose and creativity. What's more, this SEO copywriter runs a tight kitchen. His dishes are always meticulously planned out before being served and his articles are never stolen from other recipe books.

The SEO Rockstar

The SEO rockstar puts on a show. Her SEO skills are recognised across the globe and she has established herself as a consummate entertainer. Her content brings in the crowds and attracts links from websites around the world. Furthermore, her lyrics are heart-felt, convincing and speak to the masses. Plus, she often puts keywords in song titles.

The SEO Wizard

The SEO wizard knows all about the dark arts. Be warned, he will pull thousands of links from his black hat.

While the SEO wizard practices his evil magic, his minions scour the internet spamming blogs with mindless comments with suspicious anchor text.

The SEO wizard is a corrupt soul; his evil vision knows no bounds. He will often enchant others with promises of page one rankings.

Wednesday, 10 February 2010

Embarrassing (SEO Blog) Illnesses

Is your SEO blog suffering from an ailment? Are you too embarrassed to discuss the issue with family or friends? Don't let it keep you awake at night. There is help at hand.

The embarrassing SEO blog surgery is now open. Next patient please.

Patient One

Symptoms: Blog not visible in desired Google searches. Discomfort expressed by author. Initial content sample shows deficiency in appropriate keywords.

Diagnosis: Acute keyword deficiency


Appropriate keywords to be taken by content as required.
Blog advised to include keywords in article title and domain URL
Recommended increase of keywords in link anchor text

Patient Two

Symptoms: Patient's copy struggles socially. Blog has difficultly in maintaining relationships and fails to engage users in conversation relating to content. Lower than average follower count on Twitter and reduced presence of retweets.

Diagnosis: Social media disorder


Patient advised to increase social media intake
Repeated use of '@' function recommended in order to establish relationships with other users
Suggest copious application of retweet feature for third-party content

Patient Three

Symptoms: Content unintelligible and rarely coherent. Complaining of high bounce rate and low conversions. Examination shows an unusually high level of keywords and low readability ratio.

Diagnosis: Clinical keyword obesity


Patient told to reduce content intake of SEO keywords
Apply proofreading before publishing
Closely monitor keyword density of text
Attend support group for advice on producing readable content

Patient Four

Symptoms: Blog lifeless. Numbness detected in originality area. Creative constipation. Visible plagiarism in content. Heavy bleeding in reputation.

Diagnosis: Parasitic content stealer


Take two creativity tablets per blog, as required.
Recommended surgical removal of Ctrl and V buttons from keyboard
Patient advised to monitor industry news websites for inspiration